There’s now “credible evidence” that Bieberoonie knocked up a darling young girl named Mariah Yeater, all of three years his senior, in a backstage bog after a gig. Guess the old Biebster may finally be able to put those lesbian rumours behind him.
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| “It works!” |
God bless teenage hormones. I don’t want to sound like a jaded, cynical old bastard (I’m barely thirty, for one) but honesty trusting in good old, Christian values to withstand the onslaught of international fame, a tidal wave of money and, the most overwhelmingly powerful drive of all, a teenage boy’s innate urge to put his dick… well, everywhere, is about as stupid as believing that the majority of Wall Street protestors don’t go home to a comfortable couch and a nice dish of meat and gravy lovingly prepared by their mum.
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| “Be back after din-dins! Fight the good fight!” |
According to the report, however, Just-in (see what I did there?) may have to work on his prowess, as the romantic tryst is said to have lasted all of thirty seconds. After which, one can only imagine, he had a good cry in his trailer with a box of Zoo Biscuits.
Still waiting on paternity tests (with the Biebette army suspiciously dragging it’s feet). If you were wondering what the darling girl looks like, however, search no further.
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| Maybe we shouldn’t rule out ‘lesbian’ just yet… |
Too mean? I can't tell anymore.
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