Californians Whine That Their Weed Isn’t Green Enough

Californian citizens are concerned that they can’t buy certified, ‘Green’ marijuana.

Californian citizens are fucking idiots.

I apologise to any Californians reading this, but are we really having this debate? Are people honestly whinging over how ‘green’ their marijuana supply is? News flash: bitching about the possibility of insecticide in your stash is like complaining to the manager of your local black-market organ roadhouse that there are too many mercury sprinkles on your cancer fries. It’s like hiring Bree Olson to babysit your teenage son because you don’t want him staying up too late watching porn.

“Look at this; chock-full of deep-fried bullets.”

Smoking pot is still smoking and arguably less healthy than cigarettes, habit dependent. Yes, there is medicinal marijuana, most often prescribed to terminal patients. It exists to lessen the pain of slowly growing more dead.

If you’re the sort of person who is going to start complaining about the possibility of chicken dust mucking up your goef on your favourite, perfectly legal brand of ick-sticky, I have a message for you:

We, the world, kindly ask you to fuck right off.

Also, we banged your mom.

Across the globe, and specifically in your own country, thousands of people are being arrested and incarcerated for buying and selling pot. If you have somehow managed to weezle your way into a prescription, put on your big boy pants and SMOKE THE FUCKING WEED, you whiney prick.

The easiest solution, of course, is for the government and/or Department of Food and Agriculture to get off their high horses, legitimize marijuana as a crop and regulate it. Problem solved. The hippies happy with their sticky can smoke with impunity while the white-collar, toking elitists can pay an absurd premium for their scrubbed-dry drugs and die along with the rest of us.

Some days, I hate everyone.

Read the original L. A. Times article HERE.