UK Fashion House Pastes Models’ Heads onto CGI Bodies

I honestly have no idea whether I should feel incredulous or just gut-laugh my way all the way back to Who-Gives-A-Fuck-Ville. I’ll never be accused of being a bleeding heart liberal – I’ve always tilted heavily in the direction of borderline nihilism - but this sort of story makes me want to shout really loudly and angrily at a stack of glossy magazines while simultaneously stabbing every teenaged girl in the eye with a celebrity endorsed coat-hanger for being a gullible tool.

Long story short; the UK clothing label H&M was just caught sticking the heads of their models onto computer generated bodies, reportedly because H&M has been unsatisfied by the slew of models that tip-toe, sniff and regurgitate their way through their doors every day. We’re talking 100%, CGI bodies, S1m0ne style. The company’s press officer, Hacan Andersson, claims that they do this “to show off the clothes”. Apparently, H&M are worried that browsing customers might become distracted by real legs, arms and boobs and miss the garments completely, proving once and for all that H&M have absolutely no idea how envy, jealousy, self loathing and capitalism work together.

I know I’m looking at the clothes. Aren’t you?

H&M’s mad Photoshop skills were first noticed by Bildbluffen ("Photo Bluff") in Norway. I’m sure that they’re patting themselves on the back for their keen perception, but personally, I’m flabbergasted that no-one noticed it until now, like… say… the 498 thousand people who muddle over those infuriating Spot the Difference games in the newspaper ever single day.

“Oh, it’s a toughie…”

Are you fucking kidding me? I would love to know which H&M computer wiz kid thought that the Copy/Paste tool was a legitimate way to layout an e-catalogue. Honestly, I have seen 9GAG.com posts with more Photoshop finesse than these. This isn’t H&M getting caught trying to pull the wool over their customers’ eyes, this is them getting nabbed shaking their wang at the universe in general, then trying to explain to the judge, “Well, no one was stopping me…”

Personally, I don’t give a shit. A little while ago, we saw a Julia Roberts make-up ad get pulled because her features had been ‘manipulated’. The reality is that nothing in the ad couldn’t have been done with make-up and lighting. The only difference is time and a shit-ton of money. Yeah, the ‘girls’ in the ads are skinny, but they aren’t skeletons. I personally know several girls with almost identical builds, and none of them suffer from eating or body dysmorphic disorders. When they stick up hollow-eyed, emaciated stick figures then sure, make a noise, kick up a fuss and throw your toys, but don’t forget that there are beautiful women out there who are lucky enough, or work hard enough, to maintain an ‘ideal’ figure, eating and exercise included (please note the inverted commas and keep your pissy remarks to yourselves).

I sure didn’t hear anyone kicking up a fuss over this...

Rant done.

Here are some more H&M pics. Seriously, fire someone.