Who ate the pie? You ate the pie. All you boerie gobbling, walkie-talkie munching, potjie shoveling, smily inhaling, bunny-chow wolfing SAFA fatties (I think I got all of you). And look what you accomplished. The results for the 2010 Glaxo SmithKline survey are in. South Africa is now the third fattest nation on earth.
Congrads. Have a cookie and pat yourself on the back. Or rather, get someone else to pat it for you. Don’t wanna waste those award winning calories.
|Next up: the Coronary World Championships|
Honestly, I’m more proud than angry. We’re competing against the world’s largest consumerist countries and here we are, kicking ass and taking names (metaphorically, of course. Actual kicking would require considerable physical exertion). What is even more impressive is that 60% of our population is living below the bread line. Bread line! We managed to place third with a majority population unable to afford even the cheapest, easiest way to bulk up! The implication is, of course, that the other 40% are going at it whole-hog – a veritable vacuum of high-calorie, high-carb, lard-fuel. They’re packing it away like John Goodman in a hotdog factory (the pun is optional).
Way to tow the line, dudes!
“South Africans weigh in as the third fattest nation on earth. A survey done in 2010 by Glaxo SmithKline has found that 61% of the South African population are overweight or morbidly obese. In addition to this survey, a study done by the Medical Research Council in 2007 found that 56% of adult women and 29% of adult men in South Africa were overweight or obese.”
So don’t despair! We’ve still got a shot. All you pie-charnas, take a cue from your chaanettes and pick up the pastries. Victory is within our grasp. Come on, 2012!
In breaking news: “Obesity is characterised by an increase in fat cells”.
Award-winning reporting there, Bizcommunity.