Forearms Itch Preemptively As R450 000s worth of Heroin Seized in Goodwood

When I heard that almost half a million Rands worth of heroin had been seized in a raid in Goodwood last night, I was imagining the sort of take that would have Keith Richards doing back-flips. Images of Maynard James Keenan building intricate sandcastle on a beach of China White while Amy Winehouse cartwheeled across the background flickered through my head. Then I completed the article and reality struck home. 1,5kgs. Drugs are stupid.

Also, rock stars are silly

Seriously? R450 000 for a plastic bundle smaller that my foot? Man, drug dealers have too much money. No wonder it’s such a lucrative industry. You could buy an apartment with whatever you can fit in your pockets.

In all likelihood, R450 000 in physical cash probably weighs more than the score. Isn’t heroin supposed to be one of the cheap drugs? I’m not exactly Einstein when it comes to the illicit world of narcotics, but doesn’t it make sense that one of the most abused drugs on the planet would also have to be one of the most affordable? I’ve met these guys on the street. I’ve heard their sob stories about getting locked out of the shelter or mugged in a taxi. There is no conceivable way that these semi-functional humanoids can maintain a habit that costs approximately R300 a gram.

“Do the math. I probably earn more than you.”

But yes, two fellows got themselves incarcerated after a tip-off led police to their door in Goodwood, Cape Town, sometime yesterday.

Police have yet to comment on just how embarrassed the two were regarding the size of their package, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and describe the encounter as ‘awkward’.