What question do you ask yourself most often while online? Well, if you’re anything like me, it’s likely; “How in the hell did Nickleback get all over my internet?
It’s a dilemma that tens of thousands of procrastinating cubicle jockeys have to face every day. No sooner have you Googled Why am I so lonely? when a dozen links promoting whichever sound byte of lyrical drivel these Moose-loving dropouts from a Gillette commercial have most recently ground out dry-hump themselves across your screen.
Thanks to the ingenious minds at Aux.com, however, we can final rid ourselves of this blight upon our screens. With but a click of the mouse, you can now rid your Internet of Nickleback forever.
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| “What’s an ‘internets’?” |
Nickleblock will ensure that you never have to be faced with these wombats again. With the help of Free Art and Technology Lab, Aux.com have created an app that will remove any mention of Nickleback from your browsing experience. I take my hat off to you, good sirs. You deserve a beer, a boob, a medal and a hug, not necessarily in that order.
The popularity of this particular band has long since passed ‘mystery’ and has traversed well into the land of ‘conspiracy’. On multiple occasions, they have been voted Worst Band Ever, old Chad beat out Thom Yorke of Radiohead for Ugliest Musician Alive, and only this month, 50 000 sports-fans petitioned to have the band axed from the Detroit Lions vs Green Bay Packers half-time show. There is no logical reason for them to still be producing music. Hell, Fred Durst is less despised than them!
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| More liked than Nickleback |
Nonetheless, they’re still here, as if by some dark and terrible magic. I have no doubt that, ten years from now, inebriated, underage girls will still be jumping around darkened dance floors to their insipid riffs, ignorantly bleating out lyrical snippets about blow-jobs and venereal disease.
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| “I rhymed ‘knees’ with ‘please’, then won a People’s Choice award. You are all idiots.” |
The world is a dark place. Thanks you, Aux.com for making it a little bit brighter.
2 comments:
Yeah, but dude, you used to like Nickleback. So maybe that's changed, but like, you helped put them on the map. Perhaps a petition to cartographers to move them to the "here there be dragons" part might be in order, but on the map they be for now.
...?
I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say that you're... John.
11 years ago, a small, unknown band released a single called 'How You Remind Me'. A young, impressionable boy thought it catchy and really easy to play on guitar. His mom thought that it was just super. It was all downhill from there.
That said, there are many more bands/artists that I would wipe from the planet well before ever getting around to slipping a small device made of plasticine and calculator parts under the bonnet of Chad's car. Also, I'd never imagine relegating them to the realm of dragons. I want dragons to like me.
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