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Monday, June 20, 2011

Inge Beckmann to Shoot Francois van Coke in the Face


Ok, so this is old news for a lot of you, but for a reason that will be made clear in a second, here it is again:

Coming soon! SA Vamp film, Bloedsuiers!

Although, still not the first time that someone’s made the connection
between spilt blood and a Bellville mechanic

Ok, so it’s not the first Vamp film to claw its way out of the SA's Goth/Alternative film subculture – Eternity sort of flittered onto select screens in 2010 – but there are some glaring differences between the two that makes the wait for this one just a little more exciting.

For one, it has Inge Beckmann.

For whom astral projection is but one of many talents.

To be honest, I have no idea how she is as an actress, but I can only imagine that it’s a little like watching a squadron of topless Victoria’s Secret models jetpack into a Rammstein concert armed with Black Label drafts and nunchucks.

We concur

For another, it doesn’t have this guy.

WTF is that?!

Seriously, it’s like someone stretched Edward Cullen’s face over the skull of that Muppet from Vamp Diaries, then stitched it to the neck of an unfortunate midget.

Inge does not approve.

From what I can tell, Eternity is an attempt at a South African Underworld, or maybe a roughed up Twighlight after a couple brandy and cokes. The special effects look borderline OK, but the acting… Oh, god, the acting…
In all honesty, I haven’t watched it yet. Unsurprisingly, no-one’s ever heard of it, and I’ve had no luck downloading it. I’m not sure if I should take this as a warning, but hey, I sat through Lost Boys II…

On the plus side… well, it does feature Christine Storm.

Inge approves

Bloedsuiers, on the other hand, looks like it was made with a handicam and three sticks of gum. You’d think this would only work to its detriment, but on the contrary, it gives the trailer the feel of a passion project, a sentiment that allows considerable leeway for any of the other failings it is almost sure to have.

The cast is made up of a bunch of additional B-grade SA celebs, Francois included (He plays the vampire. Big no-pun-intended surprise). From what I can tell, the acting is awful, but the fact that the film is shot predominantly in Afrikaans seems to make this more bearable. It’s likely because, being English, I am unable to tell just how badly they are butchering the lines.

Although sometimes it’s more obvious that others

What can I say; I’m looking forward to it. Check it out here and, if you’re in the giving mood, make a donation. The whole film is being crowd-sourced so, presumably, the more money they get, the less crap it is. Kinda like blackmail…

Here's the second trailer. Can’t seem to find the first one anymore.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Die Rewolusie Begin... this implies they're planning more than one of these. I think it might be interesting but I'll have to open my mind to the point of it gaping. If there's Inge music in the soundtrack, it'll be worth it for that fact alone.

BrettRexB said...

Who knows? Maybe it's one of those 90min revolutions.

I'm going to give it a shot, assuming it makes it all the way to the end production. Local gore is lekka and all that.
I agree about the music though. With a new Lark album coming out, not to mention the usual fuck-load of awesome new mixes, I rate the soundtrack could be epic, assuming they don't get bogged down by too much Van Coke Kaanse-pop.

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